Beautiful

Having grown up with the constant castigation of being the ugliest duckling from immediate family members gives me the self-esteem of a born impotent.I felt that my self worth was comparable to the shallowest of rivers.

That the reason i survived because i was feisty. I fought to feign my enemies. Deep inside, I am my own enemy.

Imagine how it feels when your own mother tells you that the reason you were not accepted as a marketing assistant for an airline company is because you are not physically attractive enough. Having a brother who constantly calls you flat-nosed (which i think most Filipinos are). Having a cousin who tells you that you have the longest chin the world (which turns out to be the other way around, he really has a chin of "i don't know what").

In college, I had a boyfriend who constantly tells me that I am pretty. I don't understand why. Is it because he wants to get inside my pants or is he just blind? Another boyfriend tells me that i am indeed pretty. Initially, i partially believed him but when we broke up, the self-esteem crumbled again.

At 26, I had a baby girl. A daughter who is considered by most people as photogenic, beautiful and has d potential to become a star (a good one i hope). Many would exclaim how on earth I gave birth to such beautiful baby? Was it a mistake at the hospital or was it a stroke of luck that I've found a guy with good genes?I don't believe either reasons.

I believe though that my daughter is beautiful because she is born from me. I am a rough diamond (that's how I see myself now). I know that I am beautiful, pretty, attractive but I just need extra polishing so that my true beauty will shine.

Anyway, who needs a beautiful face when you already have a beautiful mind? But it would be much advantageous if you have both. I think I have both. Its just that the other side of me needs polish.

Would you agree?