Sunday, May 24, 2009

The Case of Single Parenthood

Most of my friends are married and have families of their own. I on the other hand, also have a family of my own, however, I am single and unwed.

I made the decision to stay single and unwed when I realized that the attitude of my daughters father is somewhat not what I expected. I didn't expect much from him, except for him to be loyal, supportive and responsible. To my dismay, he has none of these characteristics. It was also discomforting on part when I learned about this during my pregnancy.

Looking back, there are times that I ask myself, what have I done? I know that there is so much I wanted to achieve in life, one of them is having a family of my own but I didn’t expect it to be this way.

I love being a mother and keeping my baby IS the best decision I’ve made. This achievement is so paramount that I cant help gushing how lucky I am to be become a mother and to be my daughters keeper.

I know that a family is comprised of a mother and a father. However, in a single-parent situation, the single mom/dad has a greater task of fulfilling the duties of both mother and father.

Single parents are mostly viewed as strong individuals. We are forced to put a brave face and meet with bravado all the adversities in life. Whether we achieve and be successful or succumb to losses, single parents are heroes. To the eyes of our little children, we are the iron men and women of their lives.

Despite of all the accolades that single parents receive for achieving the tasks, we are just simple human beings; who at the end of the day, sheds a tear or two when we look back at how we fought the challenges and look forward to the more hurdles of the future.

Single parenthood, it is bitter yet sweet.


I am beautiful because my hair is long and wavy and it is sometimes dry.

I am beautiful because I have combination skin; meaning some part of my skin is oily and some part is dry.

I am beautiful because my hands are rough and my arms are big.

I am beautiful because my eyebags are big and they seem to cover my eyes when I smile.

I am beautiful because my wrinkles are starting to show around my eyes and forehead.

I am beautiful because I have a crooked smile and my two front teeth are bigger than the rest and they even have a gap between them.

I am beautiful because my nose is big and it is the most identifiable part of my face.

I am beautiful because my chin is long thus giving me an elongated face.

I am beautiful because my skin is not smooth and it has some rough patches on it.

I am beautiful because I am short and I have small stubby fingers.

I am beautiful because instead of having a six-pack abs, I have a six-pound fat.

I am beautiful because the toes on my feet are not equal although they number to ten but one toe doesn’t seem to fit in the right place.

I am beautiful because the color on my face is darker than the rest of my body.

I am beautiful because I know how to love and care.

I am beautiful because I know how to cry and be hurt.

I am beautiful because I know how to make other people happy.

I am beautiful because I am a mother.

I am beautiful because I am a daughter.

I am beautiful because I am a friend.

I am beautiful because I know I am not.

What makes a person beautiful?

Is it having a perfect soft hair?

Is it having a perfect smooth skin perhaps?

Or having a perfect set of teeth?

How about having curvaceous body or having a six-pack abs?

Many of us are fascinated with the false idea of beauty. I do not contest when people becomes beautiful when they met the above requirement for being beautiful.

It is true that people; men and women alike are blinded by what only the eyes can see.

Do you consider someone who has a cleft palate beautiful?

How about someone with crooked teeth and dry, brittle hair?

Or perhaps someone, specially a woman, with a 32 inches waistline?

I believe that beauty along with love shouldn't be constricted by what the eyes can see. But the important thing is that beauty should be felt first then seen. A person becomes truly beautiful when he/she radiates from within a beautiful soul.

I don't know about you, but I see beauty in faces with imperfections, in imperfect people. Most of the time, real beauty comes out not in beauty pageants or from pages of magazines but it comes out in the most ordinary situation. Beauty is in every one.

Do you think you are beautiful?

Relationships: Mutual Understanding/ Pseudo Relationship

When is a relationship becomes a real relationship? Is there such a thing as pseudo relationship? What are the boundaries of pseudo relationships?

Two people are in a relationship but not quite the typical relationship. They hug, they kiss and they make love. They care for each other (or so they think) and think often about the each other. They dine together, pray together and go to bed together but they're not quite together.

It’s confusing isn’t it? When a relationship is a pseudo-relationship, the couple will either make it or break it.

When does a pseudo-relationship begin? It begins when two people gets too cozy, too close and two comfortable with each other but not quite open about their feelings for each other. Some say it’s when you experience mutual understanding.

Mutual understanding happens when two individuals allow actions to speak the words but lacks the vocal pronouncement to validate the real feelings. It happens when two individuals assume the mutual understanding feeling as something real and yet refuses to vocalize the confirmation of the relationship.

Pseudo relationships happen because the other party is usually not ready to commit in the real one, not ready because they are already in another real relationship thus making yours as pseudo.

Mutual understanding leads to pseudo relationships. Pseudo relationship spells trouble. Trouble ends in nothing.

These relationships happen because we allow it to happen. We allow ourselves to be victimized by our emotions.

As hard as it may seem, women tend to be in the losing end in every pseudo relationship. Pseudo relationships are not real but the hurt is.