Waiting for the Best Man

Most of us women would swoon at the idea of having a prince dressed as a knight in shining armor (and shiny car, I hope) that will sweep us off our high-heeled feet and bring us to happily ever after. The idea isn’t really far-fetched but in the days of ersatz and "all-instant", I would say it's hard to find a guy as chivalrous and as valiant as our fairy-tale prince.

I’ve already awakened to the reality that not all women will be gifted with princes on Christmas. But I believe that great gifts come in small packages. And no, I'm not thinking about that small (short but big hearted) guy. I'm talking about my little bundle of joy I received about 3 years ago. She was the greatest gift that came in a small bundle.

I stopped dreaming of my knight in shining Evo eons ago. The door isn't really closed yet but it's only half open. There’s no certain time frame as to when it will fully close. When it does, I will never look back.

I will wait, wait and wait. But if he doesn’t come, I’ll blame it to the traffic or bad weather perhaps. I will put on my high heels and that red lipstick. I will thank God for giving me the perseverance to wait. Patience is indeed a virtue.

When my time on earth expires with only my daughter beside me, I will thank God for all that He has given me. With a smile on my face I’d say, thank you Lord for not giving me a husband. He’ll probably be just a headache.

Dressing the Mind

A friend shot a question at me; why are you dressed up like that? Confused, I looked at myself and answered a rhetorical; what's wrong with what I’m wearing?

Let me give u an idea of what I wore then. I was wearing a green sleeveless top, denim mini skirt, 4-inch wedge shoes and my favorite red lipstick. For me, the whole get up wasn't trashy neither was it baduy. I think that was sort of fashionable so to say.

Anyway, I don't think my friend was referring to the clothes but to the look presented. For those who don’t know me way back when, I used to dress up in just plain tee, jeans and gaudy sandals. I do still dress like that but if an opportunity is presented for me to dress up, ill grab and go for it.

The clothes and makeup I wear does not exactly reflect the kind of person that I am. I may be wearing that red lipstick but it doesn’t mean that im trying to be seductive. I simply wanted to add color to my rather boring face. Same idea goes with my clothes. I don’t wear mini skirt to seduce somebody but because I’m comfortable with it, besides I know that I have the legs to show so why not flaunt it.

You see, when you look good, you feel good about yourself. And when you feel good, you look good. That's simple psychology. It’s a win-win situation. Who wants to look miserable and feel miserable anyway? I, for sure doesn’t want that. If there were anything that I’d like to invite in my life, it would be all the good things. Who doesn’t want to be beautiful? I’d be a hypocrite if ill say that I don’t want to.

I may have changed the way I dress up but I’ll guarantee you that I’m still the same old me. Although, im happier where I am at now but the Pearl that my friends know is still the same Pearl, with little improvements here and there.

I dress up my mind to dress up my physical self. I want to age gracefully. And of course, I always wanted to feel good and look good. It’s not a crime to feel beautiful and happy.

So, what's wrong with what I’m wearing?

Me, Happy? Absolutely!

A friend asked, why are you happy Pearl?

That doesn't sound like a question to me but rather a statement. Does it show on my face that I'm happy? I guess so. Look, I don't have the "I am happy" statement plastered on my forehead but yet people ask why I'm happy.

Well, let me count the ways.

First, I am alive. The idea of waking up each day to completely new day is a gift worthy of smiles. Everyday presents a new possibility of redeeming my old sinful ways and make myself a better person. Everyday is a new beginning, a fresh start. Another opportunity to put on that great moisturizing cream….(oh stop it!)

We are not super humans. I am not a superwoman but my normal human capabilities allow me to choose to be happy. Good things happen as well as bad things. I mean it's a fact of life. People make good and bad choices but idea of being able to make just a single choice should be a source of that happiness.

I don't have much financially but still I'm able to shop…at the thrift stores no less. And yes, that makes me happy. If I am full, I am happy, if I am hungry, I am angry but definitely not unhappy. Therefore, shopping and eating does the mood good. Try it.

Another reason why I'm happy is that I know myself. I mean, I know where I live, where I work and stuff like that. Kidding aside, one reason why I'm really happy is that I don't depend on other people for my happiness. I am quite secure of myself that I know who I am and what I want in life. I compete with my own self and not with other people.

I have a big circle of friends. I have funny friends, emo friends, weird friends, rich friends and all sorts of friends. They inspire me, back me up when I need a wall to lean on, they believe that I am beautiful and they read my blogs. Should I continue? (sorry friends, not enough space)

Anyway, one of the bigger reasons why I am happy is because I have a lovely daughter. My relatives used to taunt me as "batig nawng" but hey, who's laughing now? Look at my offspring my dearest. Didn't you wish Alix were your daughter?

Each day, I decide to be happy. It is not a daunting task. Just will your self to be happy and rest will follow. So next time you wake up, do yourself a favor, decide to be happy and do not forget to always thank God for the new day.